How can I help my two kids? My ex-wife won’t let them ride bicycles or go swimming.?
They are with me about 2 1/2 weekends per month. My son just learned to ride without training wheels, and they can both doggy-paddle across the pool, but when they go back to their biological mom’s place, they are not allowed to bicycle (she tells them there is no bike pump available) and since she can’t swim, neither do they when they are there. They sit in daycare until 6:30pm or so, and they watch endless videos. They are not allowed to pray either of course. When she asked them to prove that Jesus existed, they couldn’t. I give the ex-wife child-support equal to that required for 4 or 5 kids (her family is all lawyers and somehow got away with that), but they are not even given piano lessons. I can’t afford it, but I can teach them some on my own. In particular, what are ways that I can bond with my son given that he is trapped over there for so much time? When she moved them 5 hours away after the separation, I was able to find work a little over an hour away.
Nothing much you can do to control what goes on in the other parents home, as long as it is not abusive.
You can make suggestions to the other parent, politely and with respect. You can use your knowledge of her personality to try to approach her in a way that she will make her more receptive to hearing you.
You can teach the kids how to speak their own minds, how to appreciate exercise, how to respectfully ask for more exercise time at your home and, by extension, at mom’s.
But, the only thing that you can control, for sure, is their time with you. Make the most of it & get as much of it as you can. Are you tied down where you’re at now? If not, why not move closer & get more weekends, more days, more hours?
Teach them what you want them to know when they’re with you. Hope that your lessons will strike a chord with them, enough that they internalize them & make them a part of their life all of the time.
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