Clubhouse Fort
Thoughts on this poem about my big sister?
The Darkest Night
The Darkest Night.
Throughout a time when home existed, when I’d scurry from darkness,
You’d cradle me snugly in your tiny arms.
Cooing, “Its okay baby sister, the dark will lighten.”
And I never doubted your promise; It always did.
Along with time we grew, as did the space between our homelands.
Which to capture? both slander, wherever possible you found refuge.
But rather than discovering forts, and secret clubhouses,
you freely hunted vodka, and ecstasy.
On the darkest night, upon yourself you tore the phony shelter.
Our homes’ eyes still snapped shut from the dismay they’ve raised.
Now my turn has come around — I’ll cradle you snugly in my arms,
and I will coo: “It’s okay big sister, the darkness will pass.”
I solemnly swear it will, as it forever has –
I can only hope they’ve left you with enough strength to believe me.
You have some talent; I think she will find it moving.
I don’t understand what is meant by “you tore the phony shelter”? Well, it wasn’t meant for me–if she’d understand what you mean, then keep it.
The other thing I’d point out is it sounds like you’re using the word “dismay” as a noun, but it’s a transitive verb. I could be misunderstanding again, but if it is meant as a noun, I’d suggest “tragedy”, or something like that.
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